Rebuilding your life after heartbreak isn’t just about time—it’s about learning how to breathe again when the wind has been knocked out of you.

As I’ve been rebuilding both my life and my business, there are days I feel strong and confident—and others where I feel broken all over again. Healing isn’t linear. And that’s okay.

Still, there are signs I’ve come to recognize in my own journey that might help you identify where you are in yours—especially if you’re wondering whether you’ve truly healed from a relationship that left you heartbroken.

**When Healing Feels Like Gasping for Air**

*“Rebuilding your life after heartbreak isn’t just about time—it’s about learning how to breathe again when the wind has been knocked out of you.”*
— Nia Saint-Levon

Signs You Haven’t Healed Yet

Lingering Resentment or Bitterness:
If you still feel anger or bitterness toward your ex or the situation, it may mean the wound hasn’t fully healed. These emotions often stem from unprocessed pain.

Ruminating on the Past:
Constantly replaying memories or asking "what if" can mean you're not yet at peace.

Difficulty Letting Go:
Still holding onto old messages, keepsakes, or emotional attachments can point to emotional entanglement.

Emotional Triggers:
If certain places, people, or moments still stir strong emotions—anger, sadness, anxiety—that may be unhealed trauma speaking.

Fear of Moving On:
Feeling afraid to date again or comparing new people to your ex might be a sign you’re still emotionally connected to the past.

Feeling Stuck or Unfulfilled:
When unhealed, joy in new experiences can feel out of reach. You may feel stagnant in your growth or unsure about what’s next.

**Signs You Have Healed**

Peace with the Past:
You no longer obsess over the past or feel emotionally gripped by it. Instead, you feel clarity and acceptance.

Emotional Detachment:
You can think of your ex without anger or sadness—and maybe even wish them well.

Forgiveness (of Yourself and Them):
Letting go of blame is one of the biggest signs of true healing. You’ve come to terms with what happened and released the need for closure.

Self-Confidence and Growth:
You feel stronger, more self-aware, and ready to embrace your identity and purpose again.

Openness to New Experiences:
You’re no longer living in fear of repeating the past—and you’re open to joy, love, and passion again.

You’ve Learned from the Experience:
Healing often brings wisdom. If you’ve taken the lesson, not just the loss, you’re growing.

Emotional Balance:
You can sit with your feelings without being controlled by them. Peace outweighs chaos.

Healing Isn’t Linear

It’s completely normal to feel both—the pain of not being fully healed and the peace that comes with moving forward. I’ve lived in that tension many times.

You may feel like you’re in two places at once—wanting to let go but still grieving. That doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It simply means you’re human.

Here’s What I’ve Learned on This Journey:

1. You Can Be Healing and Hurting Simultaneously

Grief and growth can live in the same room. Some days I feel empowered and whole, and then a random trigger takes me back. That doesn’t mean I’m not healing—it means the process is still unfolding.

2. You’re Likely in a Transition Season

If you feel stronger yet still get shaken by occasional waves of sadness, you’re probably moving into a new chapter. You’re learning how to coexist with your pain while building a new life—and that’s powerful.

3. You Might Still Be Processing Residual Pain

Even after you’ve let go mentally, your body and heart sometimes need more time. Healing happens in layers.

4. You’re Learning to Live with the Memory

The relationship doesn’t dominate your world anymore—but it’s still part of your story. Now, you’re integrating the experience without being defined by it.

5. It’s Okay to Have Mixed Feelings About Moving On

Letting go doesn’t mean the love wasn’t real. You can honor your past and honor your future by choosing yourself now.

So What Helps When You Feel Both?

Embrace the Duality: It’s okay to be both healed and hurting.
Give Yourself Grace: There’s no timeline for recovery.
Celebrate Progress: Even if you still cry, you’re no longer where you were.
Write It Out: Journaling has saved me more times than I can count.
Practice Mindfulness: Sit with your emotions without judging them.
Lean Into Community: Talk to someone. Let someone walk with you.

You Don’t Have to Heal Alone

One thing I know for sure? Healing is harder in isolation.

That’s why I created HER Village—RedevelopHER®’s sisterhood for women navigating life after pain. It’s a safe space where intentional conversations, faith, and support collide.

It’s not just about healing wounds—it’s about rebuilding identity, faith, and purpose together.

In Conclusion

You can feel both the ache of the past and the hope of tomorrow.

You can be building something new while still healing from what broke you.

You can be a woman of faith, vision, and purpose—even in your most vulnerable moments.

So give yourself permission to feel. To cry. To rise. To rebuild.

Brick by brick, you are becoming who God always intended.

More from RedevelopHER®
Want to explore HER Village and find a sisterhood that supports your healing? Click here to learn more →
Read more stories of faith, freedom, and rebuilding on the RedevelopHER® Blog →

Still Healing, Still Building: How I’m Rebuilding My Life and Business—Even When I Feel Broken