What Would You Do Without Your Mother?

Mother’s Day is the one day out of the year the world tells mothers they are supposed to feel celebrated. Supposed to feel appreciated. But mothers experience the other 364 days — and in leap year, 365 — often feeling unseen, overlooked, and taken for granted. So when Mother’s Day comes around, many of us hope that for once we’ll truly feel the appreciation for the mother we are every single day. But that’s not always the case.

Mothers give more than we even have to give. We stretch ourselves beyond what we were ever built to carry. And because we keep showing up, the world — including our own children — starts to believe, “My mom is strong. She can handle anything. Nothing is too much for her.” So they add more weight. More responsibility. More expectations.

“Oh, I can’t figure this out, but my mom can.”

“I have a problem — let me call my mom.”

“She’ll make a way.”

Mothers are expected to fix everything, carry everybody, and somehow still keep themselves together while silently falling apart.

Many mothers work all day at a job, and some are also running businesses on top of that. Then they come home and continue pouring into their significant other, children, and grandchildren. From cooking to cleaning, babysitting, running their children around, helping solve problems, and emotionally being there for everyone else — all before they ever pour into themselves.

And what’s sad is that after pouring so much into everybody else, many mothers have nothing left to pour into themselves.

Some mothers come home exhausted only to deal with disrespectful children, or children living under their roof who don’t even help keep the house clean. Imagine working all day, taking care of everybody else’s needs, and still coming home to a dirty house, stress, noise, and more responsibilities waiting for you.

From watching grandchildren on our days off — even on Mother’s Day — to making sure everybody eats, paying legal fees, shopping for our children and grandchildren, throwing baby showers, celebrating everyone else’s birthdays with thought and effort, while our own birthdays become a last-minute gift or rushed gesture only after someone notices we seem sad or says, “We should do something for Mom.”

Mothers drive their children everywhere, loan out their cars, and inconvenience themselves daily just to make sure everyone else is okay. Some mothers take off work, go in late, or leave early to help their children or grandchildren, not realizing that every hour missed can put their job at risk or make their paycheck shorter — which then causes them to struggle trying to make ends meet. Yet many still do it without complaint because that’s what mothers do.

And let’s talk about the children who are grown, working, and still living at home for free month after month. Some mothers open their doors to help their children “get back on their feet,” only for months to turn into over six months or even years. Utilities go up. Food costs go up. Stress goes up. But some children never once offer to help pay a bill, buy groceries, or lighten the load for the very person carrying them.

And it doesn’t feel the same.

Why should mothers only be thought about after we say, “Wow, nobody even thought to celebrate me,” or after we express hurt on Mother’s Day? Why does it take us speaking our pain out loud before people decide to do something at the last minute?

I want to ask everyone who still has a mother or a mother figure in their life:

WHAT would you do, and WHERE would you be, without your mother?

Would you still have your job if it wasn’t for your mother?

Would you have a place to stay if it wasn’t for your mother?

Would you still have your freedom?

Would you still have hope?

Really think about that.

While this may not apply to every child, I’m sure there is something in your life that makes you stop and realize: “Where would I be without my mother’s unconditional, enduring love, and support?”

Think about your financial situation. Your living arrangements. Your freedom. Your time. Your peace of mind. Your emotional support. So many people are surviving because a mother somewhere is carrying part of their load.

Mothers carry so much weight for other people that sometimes we become so busy carrying everyone else’s burdens, we no longer have the strength to carry our own.

And why do so many children wait until their mother is sick in a hospital bed or six feet under to finally give her flowers? Then come the posts:

“I would do anything to hear my mom’s voice again.”

“I wish I could see my mom one more time.”

Yet some of the same people who still have their mothers don’t even pick up the phone to call them or stop by the house to check on them.

And let’s talk about the ones living with their mothers while taking advantage of them. Draining them mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially without considering that mothers are human too.

Moms are not superheroes.

We are mothers who stretch ourselves thin and pour into everyone around us. We do it because we care. Because we want to see everyone okay. Because we want to help. Because that’s what mothers do.

But mothers need love, appreciation, support, and care too — not just on Mother’s Day, but every day we are blessed to still be here.